I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
