i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
