He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
