do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
