Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
