I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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