He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Randomize
