Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
She bit a glass in half.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
