Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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