you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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