So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I deserve to be covered in dicks
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
