You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
