my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
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My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
The chlamydia really affected his face.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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