Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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