Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
