around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
