youre lurking in front of me
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
