He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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