Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
