but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
