this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
no you cant smoke seaweed
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
