Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
