I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Randomize
