Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
