Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Holy shit dude........stairs
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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