Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
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