Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
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