So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
