Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
