it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
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