Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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