Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize