Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
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