I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
So much Jack, so little girl.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Randomize
