All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
