I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
