another moral hangover. fuck.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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