Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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