I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
