if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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