OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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