That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Less talking, more tequila
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
