just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
