it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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