You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
someone owes me an orgasm
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
