Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
