You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
