walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
