I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Randomize
