never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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