He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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